I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize