i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
