do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize