just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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