dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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