Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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