Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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