that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
