just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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