but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
