I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
