They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
