PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
