U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize