I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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