So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
