I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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