i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize