I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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