roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
