come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize