Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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