peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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