My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
