Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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