No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
