There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
