She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
