The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize