At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
