bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
