actually, I'm a sock model
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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