I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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