I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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