It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Say something about gay babies.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
