I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
