I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
