glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
