i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
