i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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