I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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