marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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