You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
