I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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