I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize