I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Your penis caused this!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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