How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Enjoy the penises
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
