Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
