just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
