I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
