Michael Bay diarrhea
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize