he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
