please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We got so high we made milksteak
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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