he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize